


She’s underwater again

by PureOfHeart_DumbOfAss



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Depression, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Just trying to get into Dani’s character in the last years, Please put your mental health first!, References to Depression, only read if you are feeling okay, take care of yourself!, the descriptions are very similar to feelings of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29556471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PureOfHeart_DumbOfAss/pseuds/PureOfHeart_DumbOfAss
Summary: Dani’s head supported by Jamie’s thighs. Her beautiful long fingers caress her arm. It’s the smallest touch, the tips of her fingers barely graze the golden hairs in her bicep. Her eyes are closed, trying to anchor her senses into that nimble touch because Dani is just an antenna frantically searching for Jamie’s signal;Or, a tiny moment between Dani and Jamie, when Dani is not feeling like herself.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	She’s underwater again

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song “Bird” by Billie Marten

“Poppins, you can talk to me, you know?” Her whisper comes through the fog in Dani’s mind as if it was travelling from another galaxy. Dani feels like she’s been lost in space, and Earth was finally able to make contact. They’ve been laying in the couch for a while, Dani’s head supported by Jamie’s thighs. Her beautiful long fingers caress her arm. It’s the smallest touch, the tips of her fingers barely graze the golden hairs in her bicep. Her eyes are closed, trying to anchor her senses into that nimble touch because Dani is just an antenna frantically searching for Jamie’s signal. She would like to feel more, maybe open her skin like a sweater and take her hand inside it.

She inhales flowery-citric coming in waves from her curly hair, soft pineapple cream, lavender softener, and clean soapy smell from her deodorant mixed with salty delicious sweat from her skin, plus something inarticulable; it makes her think of the smell of the sun in the summer, but every time she tries to grasp it, she loses it.

“what would I say?” She replies after a while. She feels like there is a tiny hole in her lungs, big enough to steal her breath, but not that much that It would kill her.

“anything you need to say,” Jamie answers softly. Her voice is slightly raspy, as if there was popping candy in her mouth, and it makes her want to lick the sounds one by one.

“I am slowly becoming dead,” she says. She is not entirely sure what it means, but it feels accurate. She puts her arms around her stomach because something needs to stop the air from leaving.

“aren’t we all?” Her fingers continue moving in that unbreakable rhythm, long sweeps, short sweeps, like calm water lazily trying to reach the beach again. 

She wants to say, ‘hug me,’ because her arms are the only place that make her feel safe. She wants to fit in a glass of water and have her drink her, so she could rest peacefully in her chest. She tries to think of all the times she’s put her head in her stomach, enjoying the coming up, and the coming down, a lullaby for her to fall asleep. She breathes preciously. She breathes as if she does not have any holes in her lungs. 

It’s true. Everyone is already dying. Every living thing in the world, withering, oxidizing, rotting. 

“I know. But I can feel it happening,” as if she could see her own hands slowly evaporating in the air. Atom by atom fading away. She knows because the warmth leaves the spaces, and it gets colder every day. It’s turning too difficult to pretend that all the pieces are still there. It’s a very heavy task filling in all the empty spaces all the time. She craves to be covered in cold water, to feel every drop like needles penetrating her skin while she slowly sinks down into infinite. 

Suddenly, Jamie’s arms surrounding her like a lifesaver. It’s almost overwhelming, because she’s everywhere. She takes her head out of the water and puts her head in Jamie’s shoulder, breathing again. 

“you’re gonna be okay,” she solemnly whispers in her ear, “all it’s going to be perfect.” Dani knows that she is mostly trying to calm herself, but she’ll take it.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, tell me what you think! <3


End file.
